Amazon had some recommendations for me this morning.
It’s like they know me better than my own family. Or maybe they have access to my subconscious and are tracking my dreams to accurately match my next book purchase. Stranger things have happened (in my life).
I wish they sent more direct recommendations. Things like:
- You should stop shopping online so much.
- Or, here’s how to wake up an hour earlier b/c god knows all of your dreams would come true if you had an extra 57 minutes (nobody’s fully awake those first three minutes).
- Look [[insert place in my home]] to find that earring you lost. (It’s been missing two-weeks now; I know as soon as I let it go it will show up. Like young love that only wants you when you don’t want it. But I want it so badly, so so badly. How do you stop loving your favorite pair of earrings?)
- How about directions to that wormhole in the universe that’s been waiting on you to find it, the one where your career goes from job-you’re-grateful-to-have-with-people-you-like-being-around straight to the-fucking-work-you were-put-here-to-do.
- And most importantly, this is the hair color and cut that would look best on you and here is the phone number of the person who can do it.
What recommendations would you like Amazon to send to your inbox? Tell me, tell me.
I’m thinking your requested recommendations would work for me! Except for the earring. I’m trying to remember the last time I wore earring, or my wedding rings for that matter. Maybe Amazon could tell me when this manuscript fucker will be finished??
amazon may not be able to give you a finish date, but i’m 110 percent sure it will be on their recommendation list for me.
i didn’t wear my wedding ring for five years after my husband and i resolved our separation status. in fact, i never put my original ring back on. i got a new on our 10th.
Amazon will recommend that I take a nap and then find that wormhole.
Amazon, or maybe the white house, should in fact enforce mandatory nap times across the nation from 3:00 to 4:30 everyday. (i know, 20 minutes is supposed to be the sweet spot for a good power nap, but i like to over do everything.)
Make it 2-4 and you have yourself a deal. I’m pretty much useless for those two hours, anyway.
Motion seconded. Does anyone get anything done during those hours? At my old job, I used to eat my way through the last two hours of the day, and at this one, well it’s different because I’m so busy, but the energy levels are totally absent. Between two and four every day, it should be siesta time. Can you imagine what a peaceful society we’d be?
I’m for nap time. Unfortunately my mother was so militantly against it when I was a kid that to this day I can’t lie down and completely relax. Though I do keep trying.